writing

So, you want to be a writer? Be careful for what you wish for. I’m not trying to scare you at all but seriously be careful what you wish for. The secrets of a writer include but do not limit a very lonely and agonizing life. The reason why talk about writers block is because it happens all the time. Even when you’re writing you feel like you’re not really moving forward. Writing requires you to be focus, to be organized, to let people in, to fail, to take three steps forward and two steps back, to deal with criticism, the struggle, the fight, to try to write 3000 words and hope that 50 of them make it through editing. Writing is not glamorous. Writing is not always a fun process. Writing smells. Writing taste like dirt.

 

Writing is like small tiny little pinches straight to the heart. Writing is like waking up in a tent hot and sweaty and knowing that you didn’t get a good nights sleep because once you find out that you want to be a writer sleep goes out the window. It’s a curse to know that you can be practicing as a writer anytime anywhere. Especially now- damn smart phones…. Man, these gadgets screw you. Because they make it to easy. Too easy to just pull out my phone and gather some thoughts and put it on paper. See these are all the bad things about writing I’m not trying to scare you I’m just telling you the truth. When I first came across the quote, “I hate writing; I love having written,” a saying attributed to Dorothy Parker, I understood the meaning immediately. Though I would never say I hate writing, I do know how difficult the process of writing can be and how wonderful it feels to have written something, especially a piece that comes together just as I’d hoped. In my experience, the pricking part of writing arises when what I have in my mind; the idea, emotion, image—doesn’t come across on the page as vividly or creatively as I envision it.

The process of writing, in those cases, is an experience in disappointment, and I leave it hoping that when I return, I’ll know just how to make my writing better. That means the flip side—the most satisfying part—for me is when the words on the page become a piece of art, expressing what I want to say in just the way I want to say it. In seldom instances, that satisfaction—that absolute pleasure — that boner I get for writing emerges in the process, as the words splurge out and my fingers can barely keep up and I don’t pause to self-edit because it all sounds good. You guessed it- it’s like good sex when it happens. But like anything in life. If it was easy; everyone would do it. This satisfaction happens once I finish a piece, once I’ve poured work and time and effort into it and it’s finally done, done, done. Yes, capturing that elusive feeling of fulfillment means I love having written.

I often write after fourteen hours of thinking about writing. It usually happens when I look at my phone. I pace in the kitchen. I am eyeing the lunch hour. It’s getting closer to lunch. One hour before I meet my friend Lexie for some coffee. Forty-five minutes. Now I’m getting nervous. Thirty-five minutes before I have to leave my House! Suddenly I feel an urgency. I CAN’T leave for lunch without writing one good paragraph. I’m sweating, feeling the time pressure… and the words pour out. Sometimes a writer can do more in a fervent half hour than in a dreary eight-hour day. I’ve often played this game with myself.