I hail from small/ large town by the name of Crystal Lake, Illinois. I was born at 4:58AM on December 17th. When I was delivered my parents weren’t exactly positive on what they wanted to name me. They juggled with a few names. Unfortunately, every time they agreed on one, which was very seldom, their name was stolen. As if the name was patent by a fortune five hundred company, they couldn’t dare having their family friends little kids name be the same as mine. So Legend has it– finally I came out and still remained nameless. As the nurses passed me around one of the nurses held me and she looked into my eyes and she said, “If I ever have a baby boy I want to name him Logan.” And my parents looked at each other. They both smiled diabolically towards one another, And agreed to name me Logan. Fortunately, the nurse didn’t become a regular family friend and her idea of the name fulfilled the requirements for my name. Yupp, my parents are (name stealers.) They stole the name and dubbed me Logan Tyler Nelson. I guess no one has a completely original name, but names are a big deal! People can seriously be hated just because of their name. Break no bones about it. Your name totally reflects your future. I’m inexhaustibly relieved that I wasn’t named Michael, Bob, Rich, Josh, or Fred or Larry. Or— I could keep going on and on, I better stop. Anyways, I’m not bashing these names I just couldn’t be any of them. Maybe down the road I’ll change my mind, but right now at this moment as you read this blog and the thought that runs through my mind, those names are on my hate- list. So Pop’s, Mom, ya done good.
So now I’ve got this so-called name. The thing you say to someone when you want their attention. You know? That thing! I’m traveling around the world with this name now. I grew up in a neighborhood that was– pretty intense. I became a byproduct of my environment. There was Matt, Billy, and Ethan. They liked to do whatever they wanted. Really. They just didn’t care about rules. This was hard for me because my Parents, well, they were nice people. I thought so at least and I was cool with listening to them. This put me at a real dilemma because I didn’t want be friendless and not tag along with them. So what’d I do? I Darth Vader’d it. You guessed it. I went to the Dark side. I learned things the hard way. My neighbors and I were really into fighting and wrestling. I didn’t care about getting good grades or really doing anything that was in the category of “work.” Then after 3rd grade we moved out of that neighborhood, but still residing in Crystal lake but in a different area and a different school. I lost those trouble maker friends and tried to make new trouble maker friends but some how there wasn’t many at this school. So for the first time since being in my Moms womb, I was lonely. Recess, gosh I miss recess by the way….Recess was in session and this kid named Chris Contesso came up to me and said with a balance of enthusiasm and curiosity behind his voice, “So you’re the new kid?!” I replied like a “badass” would and I said softly, “yeah.” And just like that! I made my first new friend. He introduced me to boat loads of people. We loosely stayed friends but he wasn’t into playing Power Rangers at recess which somehow I fell in love with like an absolute loser. Not complete loser because back then it wasn’t frowned upon to shoot each other with imaginary guns.
Somehow with awful grades and not a care in the world I was eligible to continue grade school and on my way on to Fifth grade My teacher. Miss. Lowitski. Was Gorgeous! Maybe….. just maybe still is, not too sure though. Back in the forth grade there was this girl, by the name of Paulina Drozak and she developed a crush on me. But what’d I do? I rejected her…… So fast! Not cause I’m shallow or anything. But I didn’t evolve into the undeniable lover of the female race yet at the time. Girls scared me. But I tell ya; when Miss. Lowitski came into my life. I absolutely fell in love. She was freshly out of college, Had Blond hair, Blue eyes, and one of those soothing voices that make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. I had my credentials too though. I stood at a soaring 4 foot and 5 inches. I won about 5 gold medals for Snowboarding Competitions. And couldn’t read a book if my life depended it on. Wait? What? Not being able to read isn’t cool. I’ll have you know, I’ve read a few books since then. This problem, though, that I had with reading— was a diamond in the rough. I couldn’t read! Miss Lowitski taught kids how-to-read! So naturally. We spent a whole lot of hours practicing how to say “S” words. Hospital was the worst!! The worst word invented for my uncoordinated fifth grader tongue. I used to squeeze it out saying “hoz-bit-tuhl.” For some weird reason this made Miss. Lowitski laugh. Even her laugh was soothing. When she laughed your entire being brightened up and these little angels lifted you up by the shoulders of your shirt and it felt like you were capable of flight. If you were to chart my passionate love for Miss. Lowitski you’d see a fast rise. A slow degrade, and then and really fast plummet. The slow degrade was— word on the street of the Fifth grade student body was that; MIss. Lowitski was going to turn into a Mrs. soon. I didn’t want to believe so I didn’t. Until. One night the night of a play I did, in which, I danced with a girl and had the monumental line of “Sure, why not?” That was my only line. Hey I know what you’re thinking. And I will respond with: I nailed that line better then anyone! You may be asking, “Well, Logan how do you screw up on a three word line?” And I will respond to you with. There are approximately three ways to screw it up. You forget the word “sure.” So now you’re saying. “why not.” Or…… You say “why, sure not.” Or you forget the word “not.” and then you’re saying “Why, sure.” Which I guess isn’t so bad. You know what though? There are more ways then three to screw that up, so yeah. That’s that. This is my story and I’ll tell it how I want to. So back to princess. Well that night after the show I saw Miss Lowitski with a guy who had the Jaw line of Henry Cavill (The latest Superman dooder). The eyes of George Clooney and to top it all off he had the voice of God. He also happened to be her height too. And my heart was broken. Seriously, it was tough for a Fifth Grader to be beat out by a guy who could get any girl he wanted, but who did he choose? The love of my life too! Fuck him. That’s what I say. I know it’s a little violent but heart break hurts and today I am still absent of Miss Lowitski’s love. Now, I face middle school…… And you can either be happy with the story you read or Click on PART 2. To be continued… and get some more Logan Nelson Entertainment in your brain!