Fred exits the back door of cafe. He takes off his apron. He looks exausted and sits down next to the brick. He pulls out his phone and sets a timer.

FRED

Alright. Just 5 minutes to do absolutely nothing.

A dark shadow enters out into the light and he’s carrying a lunch box looking case that houses his rat and he’s wearing a camouflage jacket.

MAN

Hey you doin alright?

FRED

Woah man look, I don’t want no trouble.

MAN

Are you gonna be okay?

FRED

Yeah I’m fine.

MAN

You look pretty messed up.

FRED

I’m good. I’m just tired.

MAN

You sure you’re gonna be alright?

FRED

Yeah I’ll be fine. I just wanna be alone.

MAN

Are you on somethin?

FRED

Am I on somethin?

MAN

Yeah, like a drug?

FRED

Yeah. I’m cool.

MAN

Do you have a place to go to?

FRED

Yeah. I’m not like homeless or anything.

MAN

I wasn’t sayin that. Look man! I was not saying that.

FRED

Okay cool. Well I’m good. So can you just leave me be. I’m just tired.

MAN

(Beat)

Are you a model?

FRED

What?

MAN

You’ve got the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen on someone.

FRED

Do I?

MAN

Yeah. Holy shit and you’re teeth. They’re super white.

FRED

Uhhhhh—

MAN

You’re some kind of model, aren’t you?

FRED

Nope I’m not.

MAN

How? You’re like perfect.

FRED

No I’m really not.

MAN

You have the bluest eyes and the whitest teeth. How are you not a model.

FRED

Look man, I don’t want any of that—

MAN

I’m not gay.

FRED

I never said you were.

MAN

Yeah cause I’m totally not but you should so model. You’d be so good at it.

FRED

That’s not really—

MAN

I’m just saying you have some serious potential in that field.

FRED

Thanks.

MAN

See that’s why most people don’t get what they want out of life. They don’t know they’re potential.

FRED

I mean, I’m not looking to model.

MAN

Well I’m just saying then. You totally could if you wanted too. Seriously.

FRED

Are you in the business yourself?

MAN

No man! You know what I am?

FRED

Are you–

MAN

(Beat)

Are you homeless man?

FRED

No, I’m not homeless! Two seconds ago you were just tellin me I looked like a model.

MAN

It’s cool man if you’re homeless.

FRED

I’m not though.

MAN

Like it’s cool if you are man.

FRED

But I’m not so–

MAN

Why would lay out here then.

FRED

I’m on break at work and I thought a little shut eye would be nice.

MAN

(Beat)

You work here?

FRED

Yup.

MAN

That’s nice. I bet you’re good at what you do.

FRED

It’s all about doing it over and over again. After the 40th time you get pretty good at it.

MAN

That’s so true. See I’m a writer.

FRED

Are you now?

MAN

Yeah!

FRED

That’s pretty cool.

MAN

I’m not just a writer. I’m a published writer.

FRED

What have you written?

MAN

I wrote Milo and The Silver Sequence.

FRED

Is it a non fictional?

MAN

Nah man! It’s a fantasy. All these wizards, warlocks and different creatures from different worlds that I drummed up from my imagination.

FRED

I was just makin a joke. I didn’t really think it was non fiction.

MAN

Yeah see, I love writing man.

FRED

That’s cool. Sometimes there’s stuff in your head and you just got to get it out onto the page.

MAN

Even though you’re good looking man. You’re pretty smart.

FRED

Don’t know what that means.

MAN

Usually you’re one or the other.

FRED

Is that right?

MAN

Not always. Every case is different. I suppose I’ve met a few smart attractive people.

FRED

Anyways– my break is about over.

The man turns that lunch box looking cage towards Fred.

MAN

You wanna meet Pen first.

FRED

Woah! Whats that thing?

MAN

It’s my pet rat.

He unzips the cage but you never see the rat.

MAN

Yeah he likes cucumbers. Like a lot!

FRED

Is that right? Does he make sounds.

MAN

Little ones. He doesn’t sing or anything like that man. He just makes little sounds.

FRED

But he really likes cucumbers?

MAN

Yeah he loves em! That’s basically the only thing he thinks about. Eating cucumbers and shittin.

FRED

That’s how life should be. Simple.

MAN

I go down to Subway and feed him my cucumbers from my salad. And he just pigs out.

FRED

Or rats out.

MAN

No man he pigs out.

FRED

Oh okay. I was just making another joke. (Pause) I’ll stop doing that.

MAN

You can test your material with me. I’m just gonna be honest with you. That’s all.

FRED

Gee thanks. (Beat) You should put Pen in a bed of cucumbers and just have eat everything that’s around him. I think that’d be a really cool YouTube video. Seeing a rat eat something that’s like four times the size of his body.

MAN

I guess I could try. I’m just no good with that YouTube stuff.

FRED

It’s easy. You got a iPhone?

MAN

No. No iphone.

FRED

Well huh.. Do you have any cellular device?

MAN

I do. Matter of fact that’s why I’m here. Waitin for my phone to charge I got a couple of friends who work over at the “Play it again sports” and they’re lettin me charge my phone their.

FRED

I gotcha.

MAN

You got a girlfriend?

FRED

I’ve got someone that I think I like. I mean I think she likes me back. I’m not too sure though. I mean we’ve gone out on a few dates.

MAN

Look man you should just ask her.

FRED

Ask her what?

MAN

I think if Pen were able to make sounds and talk he would agree with me that you should just go and ask her to be your girlfriend.

FRED

Yeah well it’s not that simple.

MAN

Why not?

FRED

I’ve just been out of the dating game for a very long time and for me to go out with someone and not be as independent. It’d just be difficult.

MAN

Are you hidin somethin?

FRED

No! It’s just…. It’s ummmmm. I don’t know. I’ve been alone for such a long time that it’d be a real change and challenge for me being with another peerson. Having another person who knows you better then you know yourself. It just kind of scares me.

MAN

I get that man. As a writer I’m stuck in my own head. So like I realize stuff way more then most people do. You want some free knowledge?

FRED

Free anything is nice.

MAN

Free diseases man. You don’t want that man. You know I’ve realized that when you’re always with yourself you don’t notice who you actually are. Because you are yourself. You’re nobody else except for you. So you only see what’s happening from the inside. Am I making sense?

FRED

I guess.

MAN

I’m just saying that when you go inside your own mind. You’re more judgmental and hard on yourself and you don’t have to be. You can take it easy on yourself. Sometimes it’s nice having that partner man who tells you to keep going and don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m just saying. You seem like a guy who has a lot of potential and you could be something really great. But if you’re always alone you may not know that.

FRED

This is definitely the most peculiar lunch break I’ve ever had.

MAN

I’m a peculiar man. If I was a super hero I’d call myself peculiar man.

FRED

Well I’m gonna go inside and get back to work.

MAN

Can you do me a favor though man?

FRED

Sure man what do you need? Like a few dollars.

MAN

I don’t need money! I’m the richest man in this town.

FRED

Is that right?

MAN

Just tell her how you feel. Before it’s too late. Tell her exactly how you feel.