You’re most likely reading this because you want to stop thinking about how lonely you are. So you’re making an effort by punching in some letters on your keyboard to ultimately distract yourself so you stop thinking about how lonely you are. You feel like “am I loser?” Am I that person who just kinda hangs out at a party and looks right. Looks left. And then wonders around. That person who pulls out there phone and pretends to text someone, or pretends to talk to someone on the phone . OR MAYBE hops on Facebook and tries to find their happiness by looking at someone else’s happy, exciting, and extravagant lifestyle. If you’re guilty of this. This is for you. If you’re not guilty of this then you’re probably living a lifestyle in which you are the life of the party and you’re getting laid all the time and your name is Zac Efron or Miley Cyrus.
For those of you who are looking for something to do when you’re alone. First off. Don’t do that. Don’t ever think that. Stop feeling bad because all you’re doing is, feeling bad, and that’s not what you were put on this planet to do. I promise you’re the only version of you and you have some amazing ideas and accomplishments. Even if the achievement is as small as waking up for a time earlier then 10am. Because let’s face it. Waking up is HARD. Its easy to fall back asleep. It’s pleasant. And no. Sleeping is not something that will be posted on this list of shit to do when you’re alone.
1. Take a walk
Look around you! Listen to some music and take a flipping walk. And guess what? Blast the music so loud that it takes more effort to not song along then it does to just belch it out! Who gives a shit if it sounds bad. It’ll be so loud that you can’t hear yourself anyway. I get it. You hate or despise that person that does this, but that person is doing it right. That person isn’t busy thinking about what everyone else is thinking. They’re owning it.
2. Own it
Own your loneliness. Sometimes the only way we truly appreciate something is when we experience some adversity. How much more do you appreciate a nice pair of running shoes or slippers after you run around in dress shoes all day? I know. It’s amazing. And that’s what I’m sayin. Even more important then owning a nice new pair of shoes before owning some shit shoes is: To Not Look For Approval. When were surrounded by people we often look for approval by saying or doing something that is not truly you. You tell people lies about future success. If you’re a guy you’ll lie about some new hottie your dating. You’ll make up a name. You’ll even go as far as making up a story of how you two met. If you’re a girl you’ll lie about how some guy asked you out and you will make up a story how you kindly turn them down. Can I just tell you to stop. Just stop! Maybe you hate this post now because you think it’s not true but I bet there’s been some point in your life in which you’ve been guilty of lying to gain someones approval. Just be you. You are the best version of you.
3. Type a letter to your future self
This one is tough to start. But I challenge you to start a 10 minute time and just write. Write about your goals and dreams. What kind of places do you want to visit. What kind of subjects can you talk about for hours? Write about your what size jeans you want to fit into. Write about what you don’t want to. By writing it on a page. You’re telling the universe to make it happen. So let the universe make it happen for you.
Watch: The Secret
4. Hop on a train
Just do it. Have a date with yourself. If you feel it’s right and the opportunity persists– talk to a stranger. Ask them ANYTHING. Because everyone has a story. You might learn something from them. Or even better. Make their shitty day better by handing them a gift card to Amazon. Doesn’t have to be much. Could be 8 dollars. Just enough for a book or pre owned movie. I guarantee it’ll lighten up their day.
when you’re feeling down, make yourself feel better by bringing someone up
You may hate working out, but that’s cause you’re too hard on yourself. You look around the gym and see all these fit people with their skin tight 70 dollar leggings or their 200 dollar gym shoes and, I get it, you get discouraged. Please just try and saddle yourself on the treadmill or elliptical and set it for 10 minutes. Seriously only 10 minutes. Who knows, you may like it and want to stay on longer. You’ll feel alive and energized afterwards. AND you can eat that favorite dessert without that soul eating guilt.
6. Get some coffee and press play
You may be the type who loves watching movies but not by yourself. So…. How about going to your local cafe and watch your favorite show. My recommendations?
Movies: Matrix, any Disney movie, Wolf of Wallstreet, Any older movie with Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman or Al Pacino. ENJOY FRIENDS!!!!!
I’m not talking about folding your legs pretzel style and putting your pointer finger and your thumb together and humming. If you’re not trained. You probably won’t like this. So don’t. Just don’t. I will recommend taking a 10 minute break. Set the alarm and lie on the carpet and just “sigh.” It may sound like sex sounds at first. And it will make you laugh and then just relax. Relax and smile at the silliness of sighing. It feels soooooo good.
Maybe you’re a good reader. Maybe you’re not. Maybe you stare at words for too long and you want to fall asleep. Well try hopping on a stationary bike and set it the tension on a low level and pedal. Take the book with you and read away. C’mon you wonder what people are thinking, right? We’ll start by reading into the best minds ever.
Novels: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, Perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, Looking for Alaska by John Greene and failing forward
Plays : Pillow man, Behanding of Spokane both by Martin McDonagh,
Becky Shaw by Gina Gianfriddo
Fat pig by Neil Labute
reasons to be pretty by Neil Labute
This is how it goes by Neil Labute
and anything by Sarah Ruhl, Sam Shepard or Kenneth Lonergan
I hope you find yourself. Because honestly being alone isn’t always Fun. I know that. You know that. The thing is though,we can’t find ourselves by being with only our friends thoughts. To find what you really hate, love, and care about makes you who you are. So start being okay with exploring things alone. Give yourself permission to be you.