Happily married people really know each other. My Gram and Gramps really knew each other. They were married for 56 years. A good father knows his son. My Pops knows that I rather eat a huge salad then a burger. Astute teachers know their students. My artistic mother- Patricia Skarbinski taught all of her students in a specific way (either more encouraging or more demanding). Some students needed more of a sergeant like way of being taught while others needed a warm motherly like approach. 

For the most part, we find that we know the people we love better than we know ourselves. It’s peculiar. We are able to call out and fulfill their needs and desires without them even having to ask. However, when it comes to understanding and addressing our own needs we are lost. 

With this in mind…. how do you find out your needs? Your personal habits? Your likes and dislikes?

Getting to know you

Getting to know yourself begins and ends with personal introspection. Understanding what makes you tick, what makes you happy or sad, discovering your fears and assessing how you truly feel about yourself is a adventure requires time, courage, focus and effort. There is a  multitude of  tools that can help you in navigating the path of assessing who you really are. The best thing you can do for others is to understand who you are and allow that to be the foundation for all of your interactions. 

Why? Because the only thing you can do is interact with them based on who you are and not who they want you to be. So what are we trying to achieve? Authenticity. The rare ability that some of us have is to be able to operate as ourselves. Rather then trying to be someone else. But you’re probably thinking? Oh that authenticity word. Every self helped throws around that word too much. But I’m here to help you Tap Into that shit and master it. 

Start with the journal

Every good habit starts with a trigger. First, Brush your great white set of teeth, then put on a pair of shoes, set five minutes on your phone and walk down a side walk away your house and on this walk type answers to following questions into your phone.


Change your life one step at a time type journaling…… 

If something is hard to obtain, do you want it less or more?

Is there an area of your life where you feel out of control? 

If you unexpectedly had a completely free afternoon, what would you do with that time?

Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorderly environment?

How much time do you spend looking for things you can’t find?

Are you motivated by competition?

Do you find it easier to do things for other people than to do things for yourself?

Do you work constantly? 

or think you should be working?

Do you embrace rules or flout rules?

Do you work well under pressure?

What would your perfect day look like?

How much TV do you watch in a week (include computer time spent watching videos, movies, YouTube)?

Are you a morning person or a night person?

What’s more satisfying to you: saving time or saving money?

Do you like to be in the spotlight?

After those five minutes turn around and try calling a friend or a family member and telling them about how this went for you on your way home. 

Sharing is always a sure way to motivate you to actually finish a task. 

Final thoughts

Knowing yourself requires an honest, transparent and often times difficult dive into the depths of your psychology. Be easy on yourself. It’s tough. It is acceptance of all of your past experiences, acknowledgment of your weaknesses and then embracing the hell out of it.

Get to know who you are—the good, the bad and the ugly. 

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A video that explains the inspiration trap for artist and business owners. Don’t wait, take a move and calculate less.

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