****Names have been changed in order to conceal personal privacy****
As much as Barbara can really get under my skin. I do love her. With all of myself. First time I saw her, was actually three years before we ever got together. I saw her at a party and she was with another guy at the time and this guy was in bathroom while she waited patiently outside. She kept rolling her eyes rolling eyes. She was probably upset with him for drinking too much. We exchanged a few casual and kind smiles. I wanted to talk to her, but I thought she was out of my league. She was beyond the level of beauty that I could ever catch. I wanted so badly to speak to her but the nerves within my belly wouldn’t allow for slightest movement of my mouth. I just knew though…. I needed to talk to her somehow. Didn’t know how though. The party was being thrown on behalf of a beautiful summer night, no special reason. Therefore, I couldn’t talk to her about the occasion of the party. I then thought maybe she reminded me of someone so maybe if lie and say “are you related to so and so.” Although I’ve been trying to cut lying out of my life because I’ve been doing too much of it lately. The real events in my life are hard enough to remember and to remember all these lies that I make up is just one more challenge to remember.
Finally, and bless fully, Barbara spoke to me first. She said “I think there’s a bathroom downstairs. I’m terry sorry but my boyfriend is getting very sick and I’m not too sure how much longer he will be.” I could barely say a word because I was thinking “dammit, of course she is already accompanied by another man.” And then I also thought “every word she said was angelic. The way she spoke was so perfect. She had such amazing teeth when she spoke.” I said “i believe the bathroom downstairs is broken.” Of course a lie… I’ve really got to stop. We talked to each other about life. And she talked a little bit about her boyfriend whom she was very upset with. I smiled inside my head when she spoke about her angst towards her boyfriend. She asked me “how old are you?” I told her my age and I could tell she was slightly put off. I don’t know why. I think maybe because I was a year younger then her. But then we got onto a very deep philosophical talk about life and what we were meant to do with it. I told her about my acting life and she was so lit up by my passion for the art. I could tell she wanted to have a passion for something equal to mine. She spoke to me about illustrations of hers but she felt like she could never make a career out of it. I assured her that I bet if she wanted to badly enough she could. She smiled so beautifully at the idea. Then after many smiles and laughs her boyfriend broke up the party and he looked very ill indeed. He told her that they needed to go and since she drive they went off. I said “will I ever see your famous paintings one day?” She said “look for the painting signed Barbara Fowler. And for you? What play do I see next?” I said “streetcar named desired Starring Logan Nelson.” This was another way we could exchange names and it was the most exceptional way I could of ever exchanged my name with another person that I believe could be the love of my life.